I sat earlier coming out of my meditation before diving into my day. The state of peace had turned into a state of disbelief as I finished watching a video my dear friend Abdiel sent me. It was footage of a man driving past the formerly glitzy Fifth Avenue area in Manhattan and of all the devastation from the looting that took place recently. I could not believe how damaged that neighborhood in my city looked. There are hardly any windows and wood paneling covers almost everything. It felt to me like we are truly nearing the end of the world as we know it.
A viral pandemic has raced across the globe and the racial virus has not slowed its roll either. There is complete civil unrest and it seems we are practically on the verge of another Civil War. The country feels more divided than ever and the world is on complete opposite end of a very broad spectrum. Humanity is either too angry, reactive and has chosen a state of tearing at the very fabric of society OR there are mindsets that are completely in denial of what is happening around them, where they are sequestering themselves with inaction and/or a lack of concern and there are others who have just given up throwing their hands up in the air because they don’t know what can possibly be done at such boiling point.
Even in my medi
tation I was having such a challenging time just getting connected with my breath and into that place of stillness so that my mind could go where it needed to go on order to center myself. Then I realized that the problem was also the reason, purpose and solution to “going in” at the same time. I had to actually visualize connecting my breath to my spirit, then my spirit to soul, my soul to the household I am in, the household to every other household and all other living entities on Earth, our Earth to the moon, both of those celestial bodies to the solar system, the solar system to galaxy, galaxy to every other galaxy in the Universe, the entire Universe to what lies beyond and finally the great beyond to the many other layers, levels and dimensions of existence out there.
It was only after doing this visualization that I finally felt calm and connected enough to center myself. I had to “leave” Earth beyond the din of this planet in order to find peace and the space to breathe. Only in that headspace was I able to begin my meditation process of embodying gratitude, compassion and love. It was vast, quiet and peaceful. I could “witness” all the turmoil going on in the world from my remote location and I did not feel confusion, anger or frustration with everything that is happening and how humanity could possibly do and say such horrible things to each other. I became aware that though these moments are happening, they don’t have to define us.
We can LET GO. Press the reset button and start fresh at any given moment we choose. A trauma in the past is something that has happened in the past. We have the power to release it and start over at any moment in time. Having been a victim of childhood trauma, I am proud of who I am today. I have not carried that weight with me since that chapter of my childhood ended. I was able to let it go and truly create a life of happiness. It reminded me of a Buddhist parable.
Two monks on a long spiritual trek and one day they come to a river crossing. They see a woman in need of getting to the other side but their practice of celibacy forbids contact with the opposite sex. One of the monks without speaking a word puts the woman on his back and takes her safely across to the opposite shore. By the expression on his companion’s face, he could see his fellow monk was clearly not happy that he had gone against tradition and touched the female but once on the other side of the river, the first monk puts the woman down and the two continue on their journey. Days later, the displeased monk speaks up and says, “Brother, I cannot believe you broke protocol back at the river and picked that woman up.” The first monk replied, “Brother, I put her down once we cross to the opposite shore. I cannot believe you are still holding on to her.”
We must get to a place of letting go if we are to truly move on and into a place of peace and healing.
The other day I realized the power of shifting my own use of language. Even the “act of forgiveness” denotes the fact that we are still holding onto the idea of someone wronging us. For the longest time my belief was that you can forgive but don’t have to forget. I have been able to “forgive” in my past and yet there would still be an underlaying anger that never truly went away. Once I decided to really LET GO instead of forgive, only then could I truly begin to feel free. I was like the first monk that helped the woman once across the river… I could continue on in my life, unencumbered once I released the weight of my past. It happened and I discovered the power of putting it down. It is time to let go of the weight we are carrying whether it is over a few days, years or over a lifetime.
A good friend once said to me about the past, “You can look back, but don’t stare.” It’s time for us to stop staring at the past. Let us release the weight, LET GO and look ahead with new lighter and brighter eyes for all of our future.
