I am unable to sleep because this week's sequence keeps replaying through my mind. I danced
Cha Cha in front of an audience for the first time ever tonight at Stepping Out Studios for Irine Mou's Friday night mixed Ballroom party. I am grateful that Abdiel and I were given the opportunity to dance for the wonderful people that were there this evening. I am disappointed that my connections were not solid but then I have to remember that I only found out Monday that I was dancing Cha Cha tonight!
It was my understanding we were performing I Love You. Amazing how quickly things change.
I was absolutely flexible to accept the new idea presented to me. I could have stated that I was not ready (which apparently I was not). I did not state that if I was uncomfortable, I would refuse to perform. And now as memory has it, after agreeing to the last minute switch, I was told that we would not perform if Abdiel had to wear flats.
Learning to work with someone that you so very much respect and admire so closely makes it challenging when you feel like everything becomes a one sided conversation. We had an extremely productive connecting of minds after a Clash Of The Titans moment in rehearsal Wednesday. Yet I am still a little sad because it is one thing to know you have until December 29th to master a dance that everyone else on the floor will have been dancing years (already insanity). It is completely another thing to learn you have three days to get to performance level with a brand new dance language one is not even conversational in. I felt like the actor who was not protected by their creative team and was left utterly exposed and vulnerable in a production that may have been out of their range. On the other hand, this will drive me to somehow work even harder but what I really need is a time machine. How does one squeeze learning and mastering years of experience into less than 3 months?!!!
Of course the wake up call was good and I have to forgive myself as I have written already, I am a beginner ballroom dancer! However, part of me is still very hurt.
There is no guide book that confirms success of such an endeavor even if one dedicates all day everyday to learning in the less than 3 mos. I suppose if we succeed, then I would have to pen this publication. In the meantime, I am definitely learning that Abdiel and I have to learn to communicate even more than we have to learn our ballroom together. Partnership is not just about steps, timing and rhythm. A true strong partnership is about compassion, respect and understanding.